What do you think of my joke?
AN ACTUAL 'CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS' AD
To the Guy Who tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Dat e: 2010-03-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
first, I'd like to apologise for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants.. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, — on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb … after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
;In a way, perhaps I should apologise for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing is sue s, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pur sue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours,
Alex
You like to live in a fantasy world.
May I laugh now???
love it! except for the phone sex part because you said you have a girlfriend and i think that is a kind of dick-ish thing to do…. but i looooove that jooooke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…
all ways a good read
FINALLY!!!
Someone does something to these IDIOT LOW-LIVES!!
I'm sick and tired of being around them!!
Thank you kindly Mister Alex, whoever you may be.
As ye sow, so shall ye reap !
Well done Alex.
Careful Greybeard, this post could be considered 'chatting'. I have just had my appeal declined and this was stated as the reason. I thought yahoo answers was a place of communication and exchange of ideas, but apparently not.
Love the revenge piece, considering the circumstances, the guy pulling the knife got off easy. there would be others that would have just shot him. now if only we could do the same thing to the thieves in suits that have shafted us all with their fraudulent banking practises. There's more than one kind of low life, some of them drive Bentleys.
Keep posting Greybeard, you are, if nothing else, always entertaining.
Thanks George, that's the best peice of entertainment I've read in a long time. The misses and I are still chuckling over it, good onyer' mate, keep 'em rolling….and a Star as a bonus…
If it's "AN ACTUAL 'CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS' AD " then it's not YOUR joke, is it?
supacalaalaespealadoshis
Oh! would that it were true.
